Relatives & Residents Association

We support, inform and speak on behalf of older people in care


Your Covid Stories

Heart-breaking removal of husband’s visits which were thought to help wife recover

“I am very disappointed and angry that I was not able to continue to see my wife face to face”   Lesley and I have been together for 45 years. We have two sons and five grandchildren. At 62 Lesley was unfortunately diagnosed with young-onset Alzheimer’s. I initially looked after her at home but after two years reluctantly agreed she should go into a nursing ...

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Living in isolation: using poetry to get through COVID

“The lack of contact with other residents was really hard. It was very lonely, I felt so isolated.”   Life in my care home before the pandemic was idyllic, too good to be true in retrospect. My days were filled with activities including a poetry group, guest speakers, a music and movement group, crafts or sitting in the lounge with my puzzles. Because I am fro...

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Childhood sweethearts separated by lockdown

“For a couple who first met at school aged twelve, the forced absence from each other was terrible to bear.” My wife Thelma has been in care since May 2018. She has Parkinson's disease and needs 24hr nursing care. Until Covid-19 hit our land, we enjoyed 3 or 4 days a week blissfully together in her room at the care home, unrestric...

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Cruel separation of a life-long partnership

“I love her, like I loved her 65 years ago. She still knows I’m her husband.”   Joan and I spent our 63rd Wedding Anniversary together in the garden of her care home on 23rd March. How lucky we were, the day before lockdown. Would we later be able to use the garden, the visiting room the Manager hoped to be able to set asi...

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Visiting restrictions keep family seperated

“My relationship with mum now? I don’t have one. I’m not able to provide her comfort, reassurance, love.” Mum had been living with me till her dementia, then a heart attack, made a move to the care home necessary two years ago. It was a distance from me, so to supplement my visits I recruited a local, paid-for visitor who visited mum five times a week. My...

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How can a daughter with know-how of mum’s dementia connect with her carers?

“I’ve been working really hard to keep mum living well with dementia, to stimulate her. That’s now fallen off a cliff. Covid has pulled up the drawbridge. I feel so shut away from her.” Our family has been happy to be partners in care with the homes my 88 year-old mum has been in for the past eight years, mainly for her dementia. Between me and my sister ...

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Covid Stories

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We have no endowments or guaranteed funding so rely on the loyalty of our members and the support of our generous donors to continue our work.